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弟子規淺釋 Standards for Students 第六章﹕泛愛衆 Chapter Six: ON CHERISHING ALL LIVING BEINGS - 8▪P3

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  只有用道理來使他人信服,別人才沒話可說。

  If we lead them with principles, then they won”t feel oppressed and abused.

  

  中國明朝時,有個叫洪自誠的人,綜合了儒、釋、道叁家的菁華,寫了一部《菜根譚》,對于待人接物,居家處世等道理,有十分深刻睿智的闡發。其中說到﹕「家人有過,不宜暴怒,不宜輕棄。此事難言,藉他事隱諷之;今日不悟,俟來日再警之。如春風解凍,如和氣消冰,才是家庭的典範。」

  During the Ming Dynasty in China, an author named Hong Zichen integrated the essence of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism into Discourses Regarding the Roots of Vegetables. In this publication, Hong Zichen expounded immensely profound and wise principles with regard to interacting with people and things, to maintaining a household and to handling mundane business. He mentioned in the book that, "When family members make a mistake, we should not become angry and give up too easily. If an issue is difficult to discuss, then use other matters to allude to the issue at hand. If family members do not understand immediately, then warn them again at another time. The model for families should resemble the spring wind that melts deep-freezes or the balmy air that thaws ice."

  《朱子治家格言》上也說到﹕「刻薄成家,理無久享。」這是說,居家待人要寬厚才能維持長久;但雖說要寬厚,卻又要有嚴格的規矩,不但要長幼有序,也要內外有別。所以《朱子治家格言》上又強調說﹕「長幼內外,宜法肅辭嚴。」有的人,或者待人寬厚,卻往往失之過寬,而變成沒內沒外,沒大沒小;或者言行端正,卻往往失之過嚴,而令人敬而遠之。中庸之道是律己端整,待人寬和;就算是自家人,也應相敬如賓,不宜過分狎昵。

  Mr. Chu”s Proverbs on Managing the Household also said, " A household established on miserliness will not last." This is to say that one must be generous and tolerant in treating others and running a home to make family ties lasting. Although you should be generous in maintaining a home and treating people, you must also have some strict rules that ensure levels of seniority between the old and the young and differentiation between insiders and outsiders. At the same time, Mr. Chu”s Proverbs on Managing the Householdemphasized that "We should apply serious methods and stern words toward elders, youngsters, insiders and outsiders." Some people may treat others generously but make the mistake of being too lenient, thus blurring the line between insiders and outsiders. In contrast, some people speak and behave in an upright manner, but make the mistake of being too severe, thus causing people to respectfully keep their distance. The middle way in conducting oneself properly and treating others generously and harmoniously, is to regard family members as if they were guests and not be overly intimate.

  中國漢朝時有位好官劉寬,他修養一流,不但不輕易動怒,管理人民也很寬厚。人民犯了罪,他不用重刑,至多用蒲草做的鞭子,輕輕打幾下就算了。有一次,劉寬穿著便服,坐著牛車出門去。半路上,有個農民攔住路,硬說那是他家走丟了的牛。劉寬也不和他爭辯,就下車走路回家。隔幾天,那個農民找回他的牛,又打聽出來,原來讓他這頭牛的竟是大官劉寬;急忙牽牛去還,並跪著認罪。劉寬很溫和地說﹕「東西有相似的地方,事情有誤會的時候。你又不是故意的,有什麼罪?你起來,回去吧!」這一回,那農民連輕輕的蒲鞭都沒挨一下。

  During the Han Dynasty in China, there was a benevolent government official named Liu Kuan. His cultivation was first-rate; not only was he tolerant and mild-tempered, but he was also very generous and kind to the people. Whenever a local resident violated the law, he refused to use the more severe forms of punishment. At the most, he would lightly spank the offender a few times with a whip made of rushes. Once when Liu was traveling in his oxcart dressed in civilian clothes, a farmer blocked Liu”s path and insisted that the ox Liu was riding was the one the farmer had lost. Liu didn”t even argue with him; instead Liu stepped off the cart and walked home. A few days later, the farmer found his ox and realized that the ox he had claimed belonged to the high-ranking officer Liu Kuan, so he rushed to return Liu” s ox, even kneeling to apologize. Liu warmly said to him, "Sometimes things appear similar; mistakes are bound to happen. Since you didn”t do this on purpose, what crime have you committed

   Get up and run along!" That time, the farmer didn”t even receive a light beating.

  因爲劉寬修養太好了,他的夫人就想試試他,是不是真的不會發脾氣。一天早晨劉寬穿好了朝服,准備去觐見皇帝;他的夫人就叫老媽子端了一碗熱湯,給他當早點吃,但…

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