..续本文上一页e from the emperor down to the common citizens. Some emperors went into mourning and stayed away from the court for three years, leaving the government to their ministers. They secluded themselves in the palace, wore coarse garments, and ate bland food. They didn”t visit their concubines or enter their gardens or ponds. They didn”t shave or cut their hair, and did not talk unless it was absolutely necessary. Such behavior won the praise of sages. Other public officials also returned to their villages for three years” mourning. In modern terms, it would be equivalent to taking a leave of absence to go home. Ordinary people observed mourning by staying at home and not going to work. Those who were especially filial even built huts by the graveside of their parents and dwelt there.
为什么要这样约束呢？当年孔子的学生宰予就曾对孔子说：“父母去世守三年丧，其实一年都已够久了！如果全国的人都三年不习礼，不习乐，这样会礼崩乐坏的。况且物换星移也是一年一度，我认为一年也就够了！”孔子就问他：“父母才死一年，穿好的，吃好的，在你能心安吗？”宰予也不矫揉做作，很坦白地回答：“能安！”孔老夫子没奈何，只好说：“你若能心安，就这么做！有道的君子在居丧期间，内心充满哀伤，虽有美食，食之不甘；虽有嘉乐，闻之不乐；一切日常起居，都不觉安适，所以才不愿意享乐。现在你既然心安，就这么去做去吧！”
Why did they restrain themselves in this way
Confucius was once asked by his disciple Zai Yu, "Why is there a three-year mourning period for parents
Isn”t one year long enough
If every person in the country stops practicing the rites and performing music for three years, won”t the rites and the music perish
All things, including the seasons, follow a yearly cycle; therefore, I think one year is enough," Confucius asked him, "Would you feel comfortable wearing nice clothes and eating fine food only one year after your parents died
" Zai Yu answered frankly, "Sure, I”d be comfortable." All Confucius could say was, "If you would feel comfortable, then just go ahead. When a person of true virtue mourns, he is so filled with grief that even if he eats fine food, he does not taste it; even if he hears fine music, it does not make him happy. In all the affairs of daily life, he feels no comfort or ease. That”s why he has no inclination to indulge in pleasure. If you feel comfortable, go ahead and have your way."
等宰予走后，孔子就评论说：“宰予真是不仁啊！子女生下来，至少也得经过三年，才能离开父母的怀抱。守三年丧，是天下通行的丧礼啊！宰予这人，对他父母有过三年的爱慕吗？”
After Zai Yu left, Confucius said, "Zai Yu is truly lacking in humaneness. After a child is born, it cannot leave its parents” embrace for at least three years. Three years is the standard time of mourning for the whole country. I wonder whether Zai Yu loved his parents for three years."
这意思是说，礼本来就是依据多数人人情的趋向，来制订出一套配合的程序，以方便每个人遵循，使上下不乱，并不是用虚文来限制人自由的。远古的人心比较单纯厚道，父慈子孝的天性，几乎是无时不刻地自然流露；所以在父母死后，当然是寝食难安了！说真的，“父母之恩，昊天罔极”，就一辈子思慕也不为过。
The rites were set down according to the sentimental inclinations of the majority of the people, so that everyone would be able to uphold them and order could be maintained in society; they are not empty rules imposed upon people to restrain their freedom. In ancient times, people were more simple and kind-hearted. The instinct for parents to be kind and children to be filial was ever present. Therefore, when their parents passed away, it was natural for people to lose their appetite and have trouble sleeping. Truly, "the kindness of our parents is vaster than the heavens," and a lifetime of yearning for them would not be too much.
但人生在世，有应尽的义务和责任，不能离群索居，永远沉湎在哀痛里，这是不合乎中道的；而一年之丧，又意有未尽。怎么办呢？就两者择其中，定个三年，也算对父母头三年推乾就湿，乳养提携的辛劳，稍稍地回报罢了！这是为什么定三年的丧期。
However we all have duties and responsibilities to fulfill in life, so we cannot withdraw from the world and indulge in mourning forever--that would not be the Middle Way. On the other hand, one year didn”t seem to be enough for mourning, so what could be done
As a compromise between the two, the period of three years was set as a token of repaying our parents for their toil in rearing us for the first three years of our lives.
等三年的丧期满了，就应该节制自己的哀伤，恢复正常的生活。所…
《弟子规浅释 Standards for Students 第二章：孝 Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY - 10》全文未完，请进入下页继续阅读…