..续本文上一页以，当年孔子的学生子路，为他唯一的姐姐守完丧期后，还不忍除下丧服，孔子就告诫他：“你以为只有你才不忍心是不是？就路上可见的每个人，谁都是不忍心除下丧服的啊！可是先王制礼 ，本就为让情感超过的人加以节制，让悲痛不够的人，能藉形式规定来改变自己。”由此可知，礼本是为了节制人情 ，使人在一个合理的范围内 ，得到舒展情感的机会，并不在束缚人的手脚。
Once the three years are over, one should restrain one”s grief and return to a normal lifestyle. When Confucius” disciple Zi Lu felt reluctant to take off his mourning garb after completing the period of mourning for his sister, Confucius admonished him, "You think you”re the only one who feels reluctant
Of all the people you meet on the road, who wouldn”t be reluctant to take off the mourning garments
But the reason the ancient kings set forth the rites was to help those who are overly emotional to restrain their emotions, and those who are not sufficiently mournful to transform themselves through the rites." From this, we can see that the purpose of the rites is to help us restrain our emotions and express them within reason-able limits; it is not to deprive us of freedom. The rites are based upon principle and reason.
“礼者，理也”，倘若你有很足够的理由 ，譬如赚钱养家、从军服役或重大公务等，不能做到丧礼所要求的，是没有人会责备你“ 从权”的。礼以真诚为本，假若只拘泥于形式，而没有诚心，就算守足三年的丧，又有什么意义？还不如宰予来得坦白不造作。事实上，形式本是为多数人而设，当然也可以为多数人而改。今日的时代与社会，在经历了这么大的变迁之后，古人所定的礼仪当然可以不同，但是原则却是不可移易的。
If you have good reason for not being able to carry out the rites of mourning, such as needing to earn money to support the family, being drafted into the military, or being involved in important public affairs, no one will blame you for being expedient. The rites are based on sincerity; if one were to concentrate only on external appearances and not have any real sincerity, then even if one observed the three-year mourning period, what meaning would it have
In that case Zai Yu”s frank and unpretentious manner would be preferable. Actually, since the external formalities were designed for majority of the people, they can certainly be altered by the majority. The present age and society is so different from ancient times, that of course, our rules of etiquette will be different from those followed by the ancients; however, the principle behind them unchangeable.
什么原则呢？就是尽诚。不唯丧礼如此，葬礼、祭礼，亦复如此。古人说：“大孝终身慕父母。”就是说，孝敬之心是生死如一的。世间人有不少在父母生前悭吝不孝，却在父母的葬礼上，大事挥霍，或者雇请“职业孝子”代哭，又或大办酒肉筵席，歌舞助阵；这等虚伪无聊的举动，可耻亦复可怜！
What is the principle
It is that of utmost sincerity. This is true not only of the rites of mourning, but also of the rites of burial and worship of the deceased. The ancients said, "One who is greatly filial thinks longingly of his parents for his or her whole life. " That is to say， the thought of filial respect is the same whether one”s parents are alive or deceased. Some people are mean and not filial when their parents are living, and after their parents die, they may hold a grand funeral, perhaps hiring a professional "filial son" to cry in their stead, or perhaps having a great banquet with music and entertainment. Such hypocritical acts are both disgraceful and pitiful.
子路曾感叹说：“人贫穷真是悲哀！父母在生时，无法好好奉养；死了，又无法好好办丧事。”孔子就安慰他说：“如果能尽心尽力，就算嚼菜根，喝白开水，也能让父母开心；谁说不能尽孝？就算没钱买棺木，只能用草席包住遗体，不使暴露，也能合于礼法；谁说不能尽孝？那贫穷又有什么关系？”
Zi Lu once lamented, "How miserable it is to be poor. One cannot support one”s parents well when they are alive, and one cannot give them a good funeral after they die." Confucius consoled him, "As long as you do your best, even if you can only serve vegetable roots and plain water at the funeral, your parents will be happy. Who says you can”t fulfill your filial duties
Even if you can”t afford a coffin, if you can wrap the body with a straw mat so it won”t be exposed, this is in accord with the rites. Who says you can”t be filial
What does it matter if you are poor
"
所以孔子对丧祭之礼的看法是：第一，要依照自己的身份地位，并配合家庭经济状况，毋过与不及；也就是尽礼，合乎礼仪。第二，要存真正的哀伤之情和敬意；也就是尽诚，出乎至诚。
Confucius” view toward the rites of mourning and worship of the deceased was: first, if one performs them according to one”s status and financial situation, neither going overboard nor doing too little, then one is in accord with the rites. Secondly, one should genuinely feel sorrow and respect, which is to say, one should have the utmost sincerity.
《弟子规浅释 Standards for Students 第二章：孝 Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY - 10》全文阅读结束。