..續本文上一頁以，當年孔子的學生子路，爲他唯一的姐姐守完喪期後，還不忍除下喪服，孔子就告誡他：“你以爲只有你才不忍心是不是？就路上可見的每個人，誰都是不忍心除下喪服的啊！可是先王製禮 ，本就爲讓情感超過的人加以節製，讓悲痛不夠的人，能藉形式規定來改變自己。”由此可知，禮本是爲了節製人情 ，使人在一個合理的範圍內 ，得到舒展情感的機會，並不在束縛人的手腳。
Once the three years are over, one should restrain one”s grief and return to a normal lifestyle. When Confucius” disciple Zi Lu felt reluctant to take off his mourning garb after completing the period of mourning for his sister, Confucius admonished him, "You think you”re the only one who feels reluctant
Of all the people you meet on the road, who wouldn”t be reluctant to take off the mourning garments
But the reason the ancient kings set forth the rites was to help those who are overly emotional to restrain their emotions, and those who are not sufficiently mournful to transform themselves through the rites." From this, we can see that the purpose of the rites is to help us restrain our emotions and express them within reason-able limits; it is not to deprive us of freedom. The rites are based upon principle and reason.
“禮者，理也”，倘若你有很足夠的理由 ，譬如賺錢養家、從軍服役或重大公務等，不能做到喪禮所要求的，是沒有人會責備你“ 從權”的。禮以真誠爲本，假若只拘泥于形式，而沒有誠心，就算守足叁年的喪，又有什麼意義？還不如宰予來得坦白不造作。事實上，形式本是爲多數人而設，當然也可以爲多數人而改。今日的時代與社會，在經曆了這麼大的變遷之後，古人所定的禮儀當然可以不同，但是原則卻是不可移易的。
If you have good reason for not being able to carry out the rites of mourning, such as needing to earn money to support the family, being drafted into the military, or being involved in important public affairs, no one will blame you for being expedient. The rites are based on sincerity; if one were to concentrate only on external appearances and not have any real sincerity, then even if one observed the three-year mourning period, what meaning would it have
In that case Zai Yu”s frank and unpretentious manner would be preferable. Actually, since the external formalities were designed for majority of the people, they can certainly be altered by the majority. The present age and society is so different from ancient times, that of course, our rules of etiquette will be different from those followed by the ancients; however, the principle behind them unchangeable.
什麼原則呢？就是盡誠。不唯喪禮如此，葬禮、祭禮，亦複如此。古人說：“大孝終身慕父母。”就是說，孝敬之心是生死如一的。世間人有不少在父母生前悭吝不孝，卻在父母的葬禮上，大事揮霍，或者雇請“職業孝子”代哭，又或大辦酒肉筵席，歌舞助陣；這等虛僞無聊的舉動，可恥亦複可憐！
What is the principle
It is that of utmost sincerity. This is true not only of the rites of mourning, but also of the rites of burial and worship of the deceased. The ancients said, "One who is greatly filial thinks longingly of his parents for his or her whole life. " That is to say， the thought of filial respect is the same whether one”s parents are alive or deceased. Some people are mean and not filial when their parents are living, and after their parents die, they may hold a grand funeral, perhaps hiring a professional "filial son" to cry in their stead, or perhaps having a great banquet with music and entertainment. Such hypocritical acts are both disgraceful and pitiful.
子路曾感歎說：“人貧窮真是悲哀！父母在生時，無法好好奉養；死了，又無法好好辦喪事。”孔子就安慰他說：“如果能盡心盡力，就算嚼菜根，喝白開水，也能讓父母開心；誰說不能盡孝？就算沒錢買棺木，只能用草席包住遺體，不使暴露，也能合于禮法；誰說不能盡孝？那貧窮又有什麼關系？”
Zi Lu once lamented, "How miserable it is to be poor. One cannot support one”s parents well when they are alive, and one cannot give them a good funeral after they die." Confucius consoled him, "As long as you do your best, even if you can only serve vegetable roots and plain water at the funeral, your parents will be happy. Who says you can”t fulfill your filial duties
Even if you can”t afford a coffin, if you can wrap the body with a straw mat so it won”t be exposed, this is in accord with the rites. Who says you can”t be filial
What does it matter if you are poor
"
所以孔子對喪祭之禮的看法是：第一，要依照自己的身份地位，並配合家庭經濟狀況，毋過與不及；也就是盡禮，合乎禮儀。第二，要存真正的哀傷之情和敬意；也就是盡誠，出乎至誠。
Confucius” view toward the rites of mourning and worship of the deceased was: first, if one performs them according to one”s status and financial situation, neither going overboard nor doing too little, then one is in accord with the rites. Secondly, one should genuinely feel sorrow and respect, which is to say, one should have the utmost sincerity.
《弟子規淺釋 Standards for Students 第二章：孝 Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY - 10》全文閱讀結束。