..續本文上一頁t is not something we should treat lightly!

　　還有一個親戚，她也是個職業婦女，性情溫順，但沒學佛。她曾經墮過不知幾次胎，後來患了癌症，一塊塊凸出來的硬瘤，布滿全身，苦不堪言，病情嚴重，醫生束手無策。後來還是過世了，那年才四十五歲。

　　We had another relative, who also had career. She was very gentle and good-natured, but she didn”t study the Buddhadharma. I have no idea how many abortions she had. Later on, she got cancer, and there were tumors all over her body. She was very sick and in tremendous amount of pain, but her doctors could do nothing to help her. She died when she was only forty-five years old.

　　說到這兒，想想你們，要是你們在的話，一個已經四十一歲，一個是叁十八歲了。照常人，也都該成家立業了。說來夫妻相處，應該互相尊重，要節欲，就不會有子女多的麻煩。佛化家庭最好，明白因果，有智慧，有擇法眼，就不會造罪業。而且，還要吃素，因爲吃素身心較清淨，欲念輕；反之，葷食，欲念重，節欲不易。萬一，真有孩子的時候，千萬不可墮胎，不可推卸責任；不要像我一樣造罪業，雖然那時我真的是不懂。

　　Talking about this relative”s age reminds me of you. If you were in this world, one of you would be forty-one years old and the other thirty-eight years old. Usually by this age, you would have a career and your own family. Speaking of being married, husband and wife should respect each other and control their sexual desires; this way, they won”t get into the trouble of having too many children. A Buddhists family would be the best, since they understand cause and effect, and with wisdom and the ability to distinguish the true from the false, they won”t commit karmic offenses. In addition, one should be a vegetarian, because a vegetarian diet will make one”s body and mind purer, and one”s desires lighter. In contrast, if one eats meat, one will have stronger desires, which makes it more difficult to control one”s sexual desires. If one gets pregnant, never ever shirk one”s responsibility. Don”t create offenses like I did; I was truly ignorant then.

　　對不起！孩子們，請原諒我的無知，奪去你們做人的機會！我發願生生世世出家修道，無家累的煩惱，就不會造這些罪業。我也要將修行的功德回向給你們，並請阿彌陀佛照顧你們。也希望“墮胎”這兩個字，消失在世間，普天下的生靈離苦得樂！

　　I am sorry, my children! Please forgive me for my ignorance which took away your opportunity to be born as human beings. I vow that I will leave the home-life and cultivate the Bodhi Way in every life. I would not have created these karmic offenses if I were not afflicted by the burden of having a family. I also would like to dedicate the merit and virtue of my cultivation to both of you, and respectfully ask Amitabha Buddha to take care of you. Finally, I wish that the word “abortion” will disappear from this world, and all living beings can leave suffering and attain bliss!

　　一輩子的痛

　　A lifetime of Pain

　　--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

　　◎楊果同

　　Guo-Tong Yang 當初我沒有墮胎，今天會有另一個生命可以活在世上。所以現在我無法當一個驕傲的母親，心中永遠有一個充滿慚愧的痛！

　　If I didn”t have an abortion, there would be one more life in the world today. Accordingly, there is no way for me to be a proud mother, with the pain of shame and regret forever in my heart!

　　在一九八八年十月，我做了一件終生後悔的事──墮胎。那時高中剛畢業，知道自己懷孕後，心中只怕讓母親丟臉，也沒讓家人知道，就找了要好的同學商量。我的同學馬上告訴我，她知道哪裏可以墮胎，于是我們就去了那間私人醫院，短短叁十分鍾就結束了一切(包含一條生命)。

　　In October of 1988, I did something that I regretted for the rest of my life – I had an abortion. At the time, I just graduated from high school, and when I realized that I was pregnant, the only thing on my mind was not to disgrace my mother. Therefore, without telling my family about my pregnancy, I consulted one of my friends. She immediately told me that she knew where to get an abortion, so we went to a private hospital. The entire procedure was over in merely 30 minutes (and this included ending a life). 事情結束後，白天的我，看不出有任何改變；但每到夜晚，我都是哭著和那條生命說對不起，哭到睡著。心中一直覺得很難過，很對不起那個孩子，經曆了半年，心情才慢慢平靜下來。最終和那位男友也分手了，因爲每當看到他，我就想起我是一個殘忍的人，我剝奪了一個小孩的生存權。

　　After the abortion, although no one could notice any change in me during the day time, I cried myself to sleep every night while apologizing to the life that I terminated. I felt really bad that I let the baby down, and it took me half a year to regain my peace of…

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